I Don't Review Records But Dig The Odd Restaurant Review

Before I get stuck into the goodie bag that landed on my doorstep courtesy of Mark "The CD Santa Claus" Dodds (care of Inertia and a digital reach around performed by Angus "I Don't Live In Summer Hill" Truskett), I thought I'd just put it out there: I don't review records. (But in saying that if you're thinking about flowing me stuff or, as in Da Dodds' case already are, then please keep it coming). There's just something about music reviews that I cannot seem to comprehend, and I think for me to turn around and write about records could become something of a fake out.

It's funny because I cooked professionally for a good chunk of my, well, life, and I can understand what a food critic is saying when they review a restaurant. But when music reviewers begin to wax lyrically, dropping synonym after antonym, for me it begins to get cringe worthy. See, the food writers I grew up reading - the likes of Simon Thomsen and Terry Durack to name but a few - always managed to find a positive even when the chips (ha!) were down. There was never a bad restaurant, just an underperforming one that needed to clean up their act so to speak. And I think maybe that's it - the music writers I read either blatantly smash shit or are so obtuse they leave even the likes of me completely dumbfounded. (Just for the record I can trip out with the best of them). So getting all that out of the way, the music that I pull sentences for is music that I enjoy, that takes me back and/or reminds me of a another band I used to spout lyrically about. If you don't see it on here then more than likely it got the Kripy/Polaroids of Androids/Twelve Major Chords thumbs down treatment meaning it was launched out of the second floor window of Modular HQ, never to be seen, or heard, again.

It's taken me a couple of days to post this as the topic is quite big in that I've kind of blown music journalism out of the water. But in saying all this there are writers that I jump at the chance of reading: Chloe Sasson and Craig Mathieson who pop up in The Sydney Morning Herald, the aforementioned Jonny Demonic and "Horny" Angus Truskett as well as the up and coming Josh "I Never Made It To The Club" Oxlee as long as he's writing out of single quote mode. Who else did I miss?